A Collection of Nin
by the Sin Hunter Alchemist
Summary: A series of oneshots having to do with most of the characters of Naruto. Chpt.4 Itachi teaches a five year old Sasuke about passing on after death. Chpt. 5 Neji has help cooking from his teammates. Chpt. 9 The fourth spends an afternoon with his family.
1. Book

This will be a series of oneshots involving, hopefully, various characters and pairings from the Naruto series.

Disclaimer: I will only say it this once, I do not own Naruto. Lord knows, if I did there would be far less close calls when it comes to my fav characters.

* * *

Sakura had been studying under Tsunade for almost a year now, mostly doing the work of interns rather than that of a chuunin. Today she was asked to bring the Fifth Hokage a volume from the records room. It wasn't until she had practically ripped apart the records room looking for it that she remembered. 

She had borrowed that volume a week ago.

Apologizing to the scandalized chuunin that ran the records room and promising to put everything back if Tsunade gave her the time later, Sakura rushed home.

It only took her a minute to realize she had put it in the shelves with her own books. Somehow, it had been put in amongst her numerous unmarked journals, and as she pulled it out one of those unmarked books fell out with it.

Immediately, Sakura recognized it. It was a scrapbook her mother had put together for her when she graduated from academy and became a genin. All of a sudden, it wasn't such a big deal to get that volume to the Hokage.

The first page was a picture taken by her non-ninja mother on Sakura's first day at academy. It was before Ino had given her that ribbon, so her hair hung across her face. Sakura smiled down at the girl half her age, so unknowing and excited.

The next few pages were filled with various highs and lows of her childhood. The people around her differed from picture to picture: most of them had Ino but some of them had other girls and there was the occasional shot with her parents. Finally, she reached the last page. There was only one picture there, taped in by Naruto a year and a half ago. Written across the bottom in Naruto's messy handwriting were the words "BEST TEAM EVER!"

Sakura's smile faltered. It was a picture taken by her mother when she demanded that team 7, including their unpredictable teacher, come over for a picnic. It was a small Polaroid where Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke had pulled their headbands down over their left eyes, Kakashi just barely leaning into the picture in the background. Naruto had demanded to put it someplace special, where Kakashi couldn't do something to it. Sakura laughed at this. She was sure that their teacher wouldn't destroy a picture like that, sure that he had absolutely no reason to, but Naruto had been adamant. She was sure he only did it so he could see her room, but Sasuke came with them, so she was happy. When he put the picture into this scrapbook, though, Sakura had lost it, claiming that he ruined it.

Now, she couldn't find a single thing wrong with it.

Placing the scrapbook carefully on her beside table so it was opened to that picture- beside the one of team 7 all of the team has- Sakura picked up the volume Tsunade wanted and left with one last glance at the picture.

* * *

If you likes this first oneshot, please review. It encourages me. Also, I do take requests and challanges, in fact, I sort of thrive on them.


	2. Diamond

Something I forgot to mention in the last oneshot. Each oneshot will revolve around one word and a character. Other characters will be there too, but it will be this word and character that inspired the story. Anyway, on with the second installment.

* * *

Lee stared down at the opened parcel in front of him. He glanced up at Gaara, who stood there with his arms crossed and face stern. Lee looked back down before gingerly picking up the contents. I t was a necklace: what appeared to be a small diamond was lodged into a glossy black stone, which hung from a string of twisted hair. 

He looked back up at Gaara.

"Um, Gaara, not that I am not truly honored to receive such a thing- I am! I really am!- but," he frowned, trying to think of a way not to sound rude. "Why give _this_ to _me_?"

The Kazekage's face didn't change, on the contrary, really. The ongoing stern expression seemed even more pronounced the longer it stayed there. But there was a slight movement in his shoulders, what could be considered a shrug almost, though the awkwardness of the motion conveyed how unnatural it was for the young man. It was as if he were simply mimicking an action he knew to be commonplace even if he didn't truly understand it. Lee recognized it immediately for just that.

"Kankuro said that young men give pieces of jewelry to those they like. Temari received a necklace from," here Gaara did frown, "that Konoha nin."

With a small smile, Lee nodded, urging Gaara on. He knew immediately that this Konoha nin was in fact one Shikamaru Nara. The redhead before him found it difficult to say his name due to what could be nothing less than pure brotherly protectiveness.

"Why did he tell you this?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed, seeming to say "Why does that matter?" but he acquiesced and answered.

"I found a desert diamond and asked what its function was. When he told me of its purpose, I embedded it into obsidian and put it on a string. Is it not a piece of jewelry?"

Biting his bottom lip hopelessly, Lee shook his head. It was very much a piece of jewelry, but why give it to _him_?

He voiced this question again.

Gaara did not look pleased to hear this question. The young chuunin almost wanted to take it back, remembering Gaara's distinct hatred of repeating himself. He obviously felt that he had already given an answer.

His response, though, surprised Lee.

"Who else would I give jewelry to?"

Unable to argue with the man any longer, Lee put on the necklace. One thing still bothered him however.

"Did you make the string yourself?"

"Yes. The wild dogs still seem weary of me."

Gaara glared at Lee again, not understanding what exactly was so funny.


	3. Winter

Sorry about the wait, although I'm sorry to say it will probably happen again. Not my favorite of one shots, but I would still appreciate a review or two. Hope you guys like it atleast.

* * *

Snow drifted to the ground for the first time in what felt like years. Haku resisted the urge to run out into it with his arms outstretched in invitation. He _was_ fifteen now, far too old for such immaturity. Instead, he looked out the window with a small smile. 

Behind him, the door slammed. Zabuza was back. They were staying at an inn on the border of rain country, just a week into their winter. Zabuza had gone out for food and now stood there- Haku was sure he was glowering under those bandages- wet from the new snow. Haku, whose smile shown more clearly through his eyes now, took the bundle from his master's arms. The table was soon occupied by two plates of cooked meat and two cups of wine.

The boy waited until Zabuza was sitting before he took the other chair. Zabuza's now bare lips twitched and Haku wasn't sure if a reprimand waited on that tongue. When none came, Haku began to gingerly pick at his food. It wasn't until he sat down his chopsticks, finished with his meal, that the man finally spoke.

"Why are you still here?"

Haku, shocked and more than a bit hurt by this question, lost his smile.

"I am your weapon, Master Zabuza, to use or not use as you will. If you wish for me to leave, I will, but why-"

His words were stopped by a mere flick of the wrist from the older nin.

"Not that. Why are you still in here? You always go out in the first snow."

Haku, startled that he would remember, bit his lip as a shy blush spread over his nose. It wasn't often that the man noticed things other than about himself, and recently the boy found that he couldn't help but feel warm inside when he did.

"At this age, I am content with simply watching the snow with Master Zabuza, if you would allow it."

The man's brow furrowed as if he wasn't quite sure how to take this new development. He leveled the boy before him with an analyzing look.

Finally, with a grunt, he stood from the table only to lie down on the bed.

"Whatever. Just don't expect me to get what the hell's so nice about frozen water in the sky."

Zabuza glared at the smile Haku now wore, rolling over so his back was to the boy.


	4. Passing

It had begun to rain. Itachi couldn't help but be amused by it. Perfect timing. Next to him, Sasuke was- well, Itachi couldn't quite call it pouting, but it was relatively close.

"Come on, Sasuke," Itachi said, turning in the direction of the Uchiha compound. "We'll be soaked if we stay out here much longer."

Sasuke, however, didn't follow. Instead, he dropped down to his knees in front of the small mound of dirt.

"Why can't he wake up, big brother?"

The prodigy frowned.

"I've already told you that. Your bird is dead; there is no waking up from death."

There was a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle before the little boy's shoulders quacked. With a sigh, Itachi realized he had made Sasuke cry. Again. He had to remember that the five-year-old beside him wasn't a fellow ninja. He was his baby brother who hadn't even started academy yet.

He wasn't sure of how to comfort, but he did know how to distract.

"Sasuke, father will wonder where we are."

To Itachi's great distress, the child began to cry even harder. It was then that Itachi realized that their father definitely wasn't a good subject to transfer to. He had been skeptical of Sasuke's ability to keep a pet, and when he realized that the bird was no longer chirping it's displeasure about being in a cage- when he realized the bird had died- he would decide that Sasuke was undeserving of the kitten that he so desired.

Crouching down and being careful of the newly formed mud, he looked into Sasuke's face. Feelings began to swell that Itachi immediately recognized as big brother instincts. Normally he would repress this mixture of sympathy, protectiveness, and genuine love; but now, it might help.

He reached out stiffly and pulled the boy into an awkward embrace. With the aptitude for adapting to change only a child has, Sasuke threw his arms around his brother's neck and sobbed onto his shoulder.

Resolving to let mother figure out how to end the crying –she had been the one to comfort him when the bird first died after all- Itachi lifted his brother and started again in the direction of the Uchiha compound. Hopefully, they wouldn't run into their father immediately. If they did, maybe he would mistake the tears for rain water.

* * *

Later that night, Itachi lay in bed listening to the storm. It had grown harsher in the hours following the burial. One particularly loud clap of thunder almost drowned out the sound of his door sliding open.

Sasuke peaked in through the crack, looking unsure. Itachi, knowing his little brother, lifted the corner of his blankets and it was mere moments before the boy clambered into his bed.

"Mama sad you told me the truth," he whispered into Itachi's shirt, having latched onto it once lying down. "She said Ukeru won't wake up again 'cause that's what it means to die. But she didn't tell me why."

Itachi, who usually ignored his brother when he let him in his bed at night, found himself at a crossroads. Maybe it was okay to be a brother and a ninja. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to have feelings sometimes.

"Everything dies someday, Sasuke. It's a part of life for life to end. But that's not the end."

"What's after death?"

The older boy looked down to his brother, who seemed desperate for the answer. Did that bird really matter that much?

"After death you pass on. Your soul leaves this world and enters into the next. Ukeru, I'm sure, has passed. Not many spirits stay in this world after all. Only those who died with a particular grief, hatred, or regret. Your bird didn't have any of those, so I'm sure he's passed on."

Sasuke seemed comforted by this. He snuggled closer to his brother, and his previously tense muscles relaxed.

It wasn't until Itachi was finally drifting off that the boy spoke again.

"I bet it's the worse thing to not pass on."

* * *

Almost four years later, Sasuke stood at the fresh Uchiha graves and wished harder than he ever wished before that his parents' grief at being killed by their own son wasn't enough to keep them from passing on. 


	5. Food

This one's really short, so sorry about that, but I think making it any longer would ruin the humor of it.

So, remember, review and new ones will come faster.

* * *

White eyes lingered on the charred mass before them. Hinata wondered if whatever it was would stain the poor china plate that had the (un)luck to host such a… what _was_ it?

Glancing up at Neji, she bit her lip. He had seemed almost unwilling to show her it, and she completely understood why.

"Neji," she started in her ever so soft voice, "what is it?"

He frowned and she wasn't sure if it was at her question or the- she supposed- food.

"It was supposed to be cookies," he stated evenly, "I'm not sure what exactly went wrong, but I think it either had to do with Lee trying to help me by putting in ingredients that weren't in the recipe or Tenten trying to speed up the process by using a jutsu to bake them. By the time it was all over, I figured it would be easiest to just pretend there were fine than trying to do it all over again."

Hinata looked back to the charred lump and couldn't help but agree.


	6. Hours

There were few situations in the world that could keep Shikamaru from napping – it couldn't even be said that they would keep him from napping, more along the lines of temporarily delaying one. He loved to sleep the same way that Naruto loved to eat ramen or Lee loved to… well, be a miniature Gai. It was like Kakashi's Icha Icha or Asuma's cigarettes – a habbit that could be construed as bad but the one that had it just can't shake it.

Even Temari – who isn't his girlfriend, she just _won't go away_ – can't keep him from napping. She says she can (she talks _a lot_, Shikamaru's noticed, about what she can make him do which is usually followed by him snorting and saying "You can't make me do anything, woman." She responds, in kind, by either hitting him over the head with something or smirking as is she knows something he doesn't) because she doesn't realize that she only delays him too.

But really, as Temari comes strolling up to him while he lies in the sun, she's just another road block that eventually he gets around. Sure, she's a bigger road block that'll hit him more often than other road blocks and takes a lot longer to get around because of this, but a road black none-the-less. And he has no problem putting up with her 'til she wanders off, because he knows that.

Sometimes it's troublesome, like when she wants to _talk_. ("Dammit," he said to Asuma one day over a game of shouji, "what self respecting man _talks_ to a woman? How does anyone think that's better than a good nap?" Asuma just laughed in a way that made Shikamaru vaguely suspicious that he wasn't sharing something seemingly obvious with the younger nin.) But he listens and sometimes – if she's not being too troublesome and he's not tired yet anyway – he'll respond.

His responses usually get him hit or yelled at because he says things like "You probably deserved it" and "I could have told you that." Truthfully, he'd rather get hit than yelled at. He knew how to take a hit, but Temari had that gift all women have of making a man feel six inches tall when she yelled at him. It bummed him out more than the delay of his nap.

Because of this, he had two responses to this in store. Usually saying "You know I'm only joking" could get him out of the frying pan. In the case that that didn't work, he would pull his trump card: he would kiss her. Anyone but him would be in deeper trouble, but he was just lazy enough that it was taken less as a ploy to shut up and more as a "sign of affection," albeit at an inappropriate time.

She was usually less troublesome after a kiss, pleasant even. Sometimes she would hurry off, embarrassed, and sometimes she would just get real quiet and happy. Either way, he was generally allowed to nap at that point. Once in a while, she would put his head in her lap and smooth his hair as he drifted off to sleep. When this happened, Shikamaru couldn't bring himself to begrudge the hours she took from his nap.

They weren't that badly spent, anyway.


	7. Red

Hey there guys. Sorry about the wait. Just as a heads up, I changed a little of Kabuto's history. Few of you would have noticed on your own, I'm sure, but I decided to warn you anyway. Oh, and spoilers from well… let's just say the latest issue with Kabuto in it.

* * *

Kabuto hated the color red. It was never associated with anything good, in his opinion.

It probably had something to do with the first time he was exposed to true red. He had been sitting in the middle of that battle field for hours when that Konoha medic found him there. It was the first real red he'd ever seen: the blood of fallen men. But the kind Konoha doctor pulled him from the carnage and wiped the blood from his face. He was young enough to feign the inability to speak, so he never had to utter his alliances or true name. To this day he's never said either nor even thought them in fear that he would remember the cold gray eyes of someone he knew almost entirely in utero (in more fear that he'd forgotten without ever realizing it).

He saw flashes of red several more times throughout his youth – raised as a ninja by a medic, it was inevitable really – but nothing quite like when his vision went red for the first time.

Kabuto was a smart boy – smarter than most – so he didn't ever have to deal with head wounds in academy (he learned to duck). So one day on a mission in Rain Country, he had no idea what was going on when red covered everything he looked at. A moment later, when the searing pain in his temple caught up to him, he knew what had happened.

That was his first day as a puppet of Sasori.

The next time he came in close contact with the color is filed in Kabuto's mind as the greatest (the biggest, most wonderful, best) coincidence _ever_.

He was on another mission, this one more independent from his squad; they weren't meant to rendezvous for another week. He was deeply worried that he would be commissioned by Sasori again (he wasn't meant to know about being a puppet of the man, but it was a well hidden fact how much of a genius Kabuto was and genjutsus never worked to well on him anyway) when another threat approached.

It was a man Kabuto would associate forever with nothing but a pure, un-adultered drive for knowledge, a man that for some reason he respected above all others – basically, the man that would make him somebody.

Orochimaru wandered right into his hidden campsite, obviously exhausted and near to unconsciousness. His irises contracting momentarily was the only sign of surprise before he snarled at Kabuto (something about fixing him or suffering worse) before he shoved a bloody parcel into his lap. Kabuto could only guess that Orochimaru recognized him as Sasori's little medic-puppet – a fact that probably had just saved his life.

Upon unfolding the rags, Kabuto came face to, well, palm with a severed hand. Looking up, he finally noticed the bandaged stump the older nin now had as a forearm.

"It's been too long," Kabuto said, putting down the long cold hand. "Had I been there within the hour, maybe two, something could have been done."

Orochimaru looked like he was about to cut off his own arms (the something worse, most likely), so Kabuto continued.

"I can fix your arm, if you'd like not to bleed to death. Your hand can't be saved, but you can."

He was still idealistic at this point.

Orochimaru allowed it, glaring poison at him the entire time. Kabuto worked in silent efficiency and tried desperately to ignore who he was working on.

By morning, Orochimaru walked off with a new resolve and left Kabuto feeling a little like a traitor.

Sundown had him running into the legendary ninja again.

"I can use you," was Orochimaru's unexpected greeting.

"I'd rather you not," Kabuto had replied, more out of instinct than anything.

That night, Kabuto was painted red as Orochimaru convinced him that he'd really rather follow what the older nin said.

On a lighter note, he was never Sasori's puppet again – just Orochimaru's bitch.

The next few years were filled with increasing amounts of that distasteful red. Whether he was inflicting the wounds the blood poured from or healing them (sometimes both in quick succession), his hatred for the color and substance only grew. He never thought he could hate something more than the color of freshly spilt blood. That is, until he met one Sasuke Uchiha.

Ah, Sasuke Uchiha, know as the very bane of Kabuto's existence to the melodramatic, teenage part of the medic nin's brain. And it was all because he had those stupid, _red_ eyes.

It wasn't a new red, just red in a new way and that made him hate it more. Kabuto had never wanted to shove a kunai into someone's eye before, but he thought it might be worth a go.

Now, Kabuto knew it wasn't Sasuke's fault that he was born with the Sharingan, so he could forgive him for that. He could, but he wouldn't.

Before Sasuke, Kabuto had been Orochimaru's right hand, sometimes literally. He remained as such once the boy came into the picture, but it was different. Once the legendary nin took notice of the youngest (and almost final) Sharingan wielder, everything changed.

He was still the legendary nin's prized spy, personal medic, and pretty much second in command, but it all seemed less in comparison to that damned Uchiha being the next container – no, the perfect container. Kabuto wouldn't even be considered now (not that he would have been, but with Kimimaro out of the picture, it was possible). Sasuke just had a way of ruining everything.

At first, it wasn't so bad. Being trained by Orochimaru was equivalent to agreeing to be the stuffing in a punching bag at first. More often than not, the only time Kabuto saw the boy was when he would patch him up. The Uchiha would stare forward and completely ignore the medic which was fine with Kabuto.

That didn't last long.

Within a year, the boy improved enough that Kabuto was commissioned as his official sparring partner (half of him completely unwilling to help improve the blasted wretch, the other half eager and rearing to beat the hell out of him without Orochimaru demanding a reason). This was the beginning of the end for the medic.

Eventually, Sasuke was seen as an equal to Orochimaru, someone that could speak freely and not be dealt a quick and/or fatal blow. Kabuto had been the only one ever to reach that level before, and he didn't like having to share it with the Uchiha.

And then Sasuke did the unthinkable with those damned Sharingans. He destroyed Orochimaru as completely as Orochimaru had destroyed all of his containers.

As Kabuto left the Sound Village for what he was sure would be the last time – he could feel what was left of Orochimaru, what he had taken into his own body, begin to move, to spread farther down his face and leak into his neck – he hated those abominal _red_ eyes above all else.


	8. Too Much

'Well,' Neji thought as he stared at the mirror, 'it could be worse.'

It had all started with a team meeting (everything always does, doesn't it?). Gai had called them together to train, something they would have all been doing anyway so Neji saw it as a little more than pointless. Lee had voiced his disagreements quite loudly.

"_Of course it's different than training alone, Neji! Support from peers makes any training that much more effective!"_

Neji didn't quite agree, but he relented none the less. In the years he'd been with his team, he had discovered that the phrase "choose your battles" was one to head when Lee was involved.

"_There is more, young ones!" _Gai had, well, the only word for it was declared as they all scattered to their normal sections of the training grounds. A groan was stifled in Neji's throat before it could escape._ "Today we train together on equal terms. That means no weapon summoning, no Byakugan, and no opening any gates."_

As always with Team Gai, the reaction was slightly more than immediate. Lee shown (no, really, he literally _lit up_) at the suggestion. Tenten just sort of quirked an eyebrow as if she wasn't sure where this was going (after all, Gai hadn't said no weapons period). Neji, of course, stared at Gai blankly, well, more blankly than usual. He was, after all, the one that was really getting screwed in this arrangement – he just didn't realize that yet.

Twenty minutes later, Neji figured it out.

"_Dammit!"_ he cursed for what felt like the hundredth time.

Like the hundred times before that, Lee and Tenten paused and let their teammate viciously swipe at his hair.

In all the years before, Neji had never realized how much his hair got in his face. The knowledge was there of course, he wasn't a genius for nothing, he had just never really noticed it because it had never bothered him. With the sudden discovery that he had apparently too much hair, he was forced to realize something else. It had never bothered him before cause he had never seen his hair before; he had always looked through it with his Byakugan before. Too bad in his time as a chuunin he had for some reason stopped wearing his hair-tie.

It appeared Tenten could read his mind. That or his angry swipes.

"_Neji, do you want to just borrow a ponytail holder?"_

An annoyed glare was her only response.

"_Just come over here, okay?"_

And he did.

The rest of the training session was fairly uneventful in comparison to that first twenty minutes. In fact, Neji couldn't even remember them now, but that was in light of a much bigger problem.

He couldn't get the stupid hair-tie out of his hair.

In retrospect, he supposed it was his own fault. He couldn't trust Tenten with helping him bake, why could he trust her with his hair?

He sighed as he gave his hair one more sorrowful look. This would be just another thing he would have to ask Hinata to help him fix.


	9. Family

Hey guys. I know it's weird to see me update this often in a week, but hey, you can make that normal if you want. I need some ideas, challenges, you know, inspiration. My muse has decided to be a bum on me. So, if you've ever wanted to read a quick oneshot about your fav character, just drop me a review saying what you think about this collection and a challenging p.s. and I might post _your_ story. It's like some sort of contest, except you can't loose. w00t!

* * *

The nursery had been silent all morning as the baby lying in the cradle enjoyed the warm, summer sun. He discovered a short time ago (last week) that he liked the sun, though he didn't know what it was and wouldn't for years. So, had anyone known about this like of his and been in the room, it would have come as no surprise that when a shadow fell over the child, blocking his beautifully warm rays of light, he began to wail.

He wasn't ignored. The shadow in the window cursed and bolted over to him.

"Hush, hush," he cooed to him, letting long fingers trail across the baby's plump cheek. "You know daddy."

The child calmed immediately at the sound of his voice. He gurgled unintelligently and lifted his chubby arms towards his father.

The young man smiled and picked him up.

"You'll be as much trouble as your mother," he murmured, cradling his boy against his shoulder.

"Excuse me, Minato Namikaze, who's trouble?" demanded a woman from the doorway.

His tranquil blue eyes met her own fierce eyes and his smile broadened.

"Kushina, you need better traps."

She huffed, red bags lifting out of her face momentarily.

"If you disabled them all again, I swear Minato, Naruto might not ever know if he's like his father 'cause you'll already be dead."

He laughed, bouncing the child in his arms.

"Kakashi's puttin-"

"Kakashi put, you mean," said a voice from the open window. A silver haired boy sat there, glaring a bit through a mask and headband. "Miss Kushina, you really should get better traps."

She huffed again, shoeing Kakashi out of the window before closing it.

"Of course the Hokage and his genius student have no trouble getting in," she grumbled, cuffing Kakashi on the temple. "Any normal missing nin or recon nin wouldn't be able to, not without me knowing first."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked from one to the other.

"Why're you here anyway? What's wrong?"

Minato shook his head, tapping Naruto on the nose. The baby sneezed and tried to grab his father's finger.

"I just had to see him," he finally said. His eyes sparkled mischievously. "Besides, Kakashi wanted to play with him."

"I did not!" the boy cried indignantly.

The fourth hokage waved him off absently.

"If you're going to be any sort of uncle to him, you'll need to play with him now. We don't want him spoiled or anti-social, do we?"

Kakashi grunted, but when Minato held Naruto out to him, he only stared wide eyed at the man for a few seconds before carefully taking the child.

Kushina and Minato shared a look as the new Jounin sat Naruto down on a colorful rug and then sat across from him. The two began rolling a ball to each other, Naruto laughing and flailing his arms.

"Minato, what is it?" the Whirlpool nin asked solemnly.

He wouldn't meet her eyes for a moment, and when he did, Kushina didn't like what she saw.

"I don't know," he murmured, low enough that Kakashi wouldn't hear, "but there's something coming."

"How bad is it?"

"Bad enough that I want you to consider taking Naruto and running."

They stood there in silence for several minutes, watching their son and Minato's student.

"I can't" Kushina no more than breathed.

"I know."

"Naruto will be okay."

"Will you?"

"Will_you_?"

Neither of them expected an answer. Neither wanted to hear the answer.

They were startled by a groan from across the room.

"Minato! Naruto's… leaking," Kakashi called. There was a pause as the parents of said child just stared at the two. "Again. You'd think he'd know how to close his mouth by now."

Minato rolled his eyes and shared a smile with Kushina before going over to rescue Kakashi. The upcoming trouble could wait for another afternoon, an afternoon he planned to spend with his family.


	10. Home

Itachi killed with a quick efficiency. It wasn't anything new, killing off a clan. He'd done it before on missions far from Konoha, being a good ninja and listening to orders.

But this was his clan. He stared into the eyes of the woman that pulled him from his mother's womb as he plunged his sword into her gut. He swung around and stabbed her husband through the throat -- he had given him his first kunai. The streets were filled with bodies of people that had been there when Itachi took his first steps, lost his first tooth, turned three, and then four, and then five.

And he cut through them with a cruel efficiency that betrayed his hatred of them.

He left his own residence for last. It wasn't to relish killing his parents; he despised their ways and what they planned, but he did not despise them. His mother had nurtured him for nearly 10 months in the womb, she had named him, raised him to be a fine boy and ninja.

She had also put the target on her own back when she married his father. When she decided to remain with the clan, she had signed her own death warrant.

And his father had been the one to hand it to Itachi.

How stupid could they be, planning to attack Konoha? They had worked so hard to make Itachi the perfect ninja, yet they thought his blood would overturn the oath he made to the Hokage? Itachi did not relish killing off his clan, but he knew it was deserved.

The front door banged open.

For this, Itachi was sorry. He was going to crush Sasuke's entire world. The boy wouldn't understand that it had to be done, wouldn't understand that Itachi did it for Konoha, but most of all, for Sasuke himself. Danzo demanded the boy's death too; he probably planned to have Itachi assassinated on his way from the compound, claiming it was done to weed a deranged killer from the village's midst. He wasn't sure what the elders had planned -- Homura was unpredictable and Koharu demanded blood for the smallest of disloyalties, though Itachi had yet to do anything he considered disloyal. Not to the village.

By Itachi taking this mission, he had saved Sasuke's life, though no one knew that yet. He had an idea that the Hokage had figured it out -- he wasn't nicknamed the Professor for nothing -- but he hadn't said anything, which meant his plan would work.

Sasuke would hate him, but he'd live. As long as Itachi betrayed the village.

It ached, thinking about that. The jounin gave himself a moment to feel that pain as he waited for his brother. He _was_ a good ninja, loyal to his village and his kage. If it hadn't been for his little brother, he would have just let them kill him.

But then Sasuke would die. By betraying the Hokage, the elders, Danzo, and every principle he had ever lived by, he could save his little brother; by blackmailing the village he loved so dearly, he could protect the only thing he loved more.

Sasuke burst into the room. He didn't see Itachi. All he saw was the puddle of red in the middle of the room and the bodies of their parents.

Itachi closed his eyes for a long moment, something no ninja ever did, something no _Uchiha_ ever did.

Then he stepped into the moon light.

Everything went by far to slowly after that. As he tortured his brother for what felt like an eternity to both of them but was only a few seconds in reality, he knew this was the end. After this, he could never return to the Uchiha compound or to Konoha village. He could never be Sasuke's big brother again. He would be Itachi Uchiha, missing nin of Konoha, murderer of the Uchiha clan.

And Sasuke would hate him.

That needed to happen too. Sasuke needed to hate him, to grow stronger so that someday, maybe he could kill the legendary Itachi. He needed to be able to hold off Madara and the Akatsuki. He needed to be strong enough to hold off Danzo and the elders once he did kill Itachi. And he would. He would fight Itachi one day and kill him. Itachi couldn't die before then, he wouldn't let himself.

For all of this, Itachi didn't regret a thing. He would never be able to return to Konoha, never be able to return to the only home he'd ever known. But that wasn't what he considered home anymore.

As long as Sasuke lived, he'd have a home in this world. It didn't matter that he couldn't be with him, all Itachi needed was the knowledge that that home existed.

That was enough to keep him alive.


	11. Fixed

Hey guys! Are you proud of me? Two updates in as many days! I know, I know, I updated two days apart, but I did write then one after the other! W00t!

* * *

It had started as a dare.

Iruka, as a brand new chuunin, would need to complete three dares to be accepted by the other chuunin. It wasn't required by the village, but it was by every teenage and young adult chuunin from Konoha.

He already had completed two of the dares (steal a pair of underwear from a fellow chuunin and genjutsu the Hokage's office); there was just one more standing in the way of him _being_ a chuunin.

This one was the most dangerous, as all third dares are. He had to steal something, which is normal for a ninja task. It was _what_ he had to steal that was unusual, and who he had to steal it from.

Iruka's third task was to steal a kiss from a member of ANBU.

This had been thought up after a long meeting between a few of the senior chuunin (senior here meaning the group of five twenty-year-olds that had been chuunin for three or so years but had yet to integrate with the rest of the nins of their rank). Iruka had completed the first two dares in a matter of a couple hours, which was very good for a chuunin, but unacceptable to those who dared him. It showed failure on their parts as much as success on his.

Which is why they choose ANBU to be his target.

Kotetsu and Izumo being backstabbing traders that needed their tongues cut out is why they choose a kiss. The two had decided to rat out their friend and tell the older chuunin that he'd never had a girlfriend. Luckily, two of the senior chuunin had been girls themselves, which is why he only needed to steal a kiss and not anything more.

Now he had to find himself an ANBU.

Iruka wasn't going to worry about the kiss yet. That was the easy part (if any part could be called easy). The hard part would be finding an ANBU.

It was aggravating, really. He was sure he passed several on the street everyday, even had a good idea of who they might be. But that wouldn't count, to just grab one of them on the street and kiss them. He had no way of proving that they were in the notorious group. Everyone knew that Ibiki was part of ANBU - he was the head of torture and investigation, what else could he be? - but no one ever said it because no one was _supposed_ to know. Also, he wasn't going to kiss Ibiki.

He thought for a minute about just hanging out in the Hokage's office, something that wasn't entirely unusual of him to do, but decided against it. Sure, ANBU would be coming into the office all day, but the Hokage had already figured out who genjutsu'd his office and so Iruka thought it best to steer clear.

Damn.

Oh well. He'd just have to find himself an ANBU. And he was pretty sure he knew how to do that. It'd just take a lot of patience.

Iruka had heard rumors as a child about ghosts in the Forest of Death. These were spread by the civilian population and interpreted by a young Iruka as the forest was a midnight rendezvous for ANBU. He had waited for days in that forest, waiting for the ANBU to come - it was a few months after his parents were killed by the Nine-Tails and he no longer cared if he was eaten by some monster. He was luckily spared by the creatures that lived there and on his fourth day of luck, he saw the white porcelain masks of ninja children's nightmares.

As a chuunin, he knew that going into the Forest of Death had been a stupid mistake. But now he knew he could fight off anything he came in contact with - of the non-nin variety, at least. But he wouldn't be attacked by any creatures.

Being exceptionally good at genjutsu, Iruka had designed one that would be just strong enough so that the creatures of the forest should leave him be, but not quite strong enough to entice too much wonder by any nin walking through. He still wasn't sure how he was going to kiss one of the ANBU, once they came through, nor was he entirely sure how he could prove it. But he'd find himself an ANBU.

* * *

Nearly ten hours later found Iruka extremely bored. Not so much as a mouse ran through the forest since he hid himself away. Not even a stray wind burst through the leaves. It was all… very… tiring…

Iruka woke up maybe a half hour later to the snapping of a twig. Finally! He didn't have time to think up a plan or even see what had snapped the twig, however. There was a shuriken flying at his face.

What Iruka hadn't realized was that when he woke up, he jerked. This meant that his weak genjutsu, which was the equivalent to wearing a camouflage blanket, wavered. Any good nin would attack.

A fairly cocky one did.

Instincts took over for the terrified chuunin and he flung out two kunai; one deflected the shuriken, the other flew at the face of his attacker.

There was the sound of porcelain shattering, then all went silent.

"You broke my mask," said the attacker. He seemed dazed, as if he couldn't believe it.

Iruka couldn't either. Those mystified eyes staring at him were ones he well recognized. Anyone would. They were the mismatched eyes of the legendary Copy Nin Kakashi Hatake.

Iruka was mortified.

Few people saw Kakashi Hatake face to face. Some even thought him to be mere lore. Iruka hadn't wanted to find out. Not while he was just a chuunin.

He was pretty sure he was about to die.

The Copy Nin traced long fingers across his jaw and temple, as if making sure that the mask really was gone. His red eye seemed to stay focused on Iruka, even as it and his other eye swept the ground to glance at the porcelain pieces.

When he looked back at Iruka, the chuunin had finally decided to stand. He didn't want to be kneeling in some bush when he died. Izumo and Kotetsu would never stop laughing. He stood up, straight and as tall as he could manage - which wasn't very for his 16-year-old self - and gripped another kunai.

Kakashi frowned at this.

"You traitor or something?" he asked, arm snaking around his shoulder to grip the sword latched onto his back.

Iruka was taken aback, so much so he forgot himself for a moment.

"No! I'm a chuunin!"

It didn't really explain anything, not to a logical mind, but it seemed to pacify Kakashi, who promptly released hilt of blade.

"Chuunin? Then why are you in the Forest of Death?"

Glaring - for whatever reason, Iruka resorted back to his childish, defiant self when terrified - the chuunin snapped his words out.

"I'm finishing my rites of passage."

Kakashi whistled, a low sound that sent Iruka's hair standing on end. It might have been his imagination, but that whistle sounded almost like a far off resounding howl of a wolf or dog.

"And which one are you on?"

"The Third."

It sounded ominous in the air. Kakashi looked at him appreciatively.

"What were your first two?"

Iruka wasn't sure why he was answering, just knew it staved off death for a few more seconds.

"Steal another chuunins underwear," he muttered, suddenly feeling bashful. It sounded so crude.

But Kakashi was grinning now.

"I choose Anko…" Here Kakashi looked mildly surprised. "… and stuffed them in someone's pocket before she could track me down."

The laughter surprised Iruka, but Kakashi waved him on.

"My second task was to genjutsu the Hokage's office. I made it so that he'd see these really attractive girls from the corner of his eyes, but could never look right at them."

The laughter had died down and now Kakashi was just staring at him approvingly.

"So your third is something like stay in the Forest of Death so long or something?"

Iruka shook his head sharply.

"No, I have to kiss a-"

He cut himself off, eyes wide. He probably would have clamped a hand over his mouth if it wasn't for his years of ninja training. And the kunai he still held.

"Kiss?" Kakashi asked, extremely interested. "Kiss a what? A tree? A bird?"

Iruka shook his head slowly, though he was sure Kakashi already knew. There was a sly grin on that face, hidden under that mask and behind those eyes.

"Then what?"

_He's going to make me say it!_ Iruka thought, suddenly angry at the man again.

"An _ANBU!_" he growled, glaring daggers at the smirking man.

Kakashi just smiled wider.

"And your plan of seduction involved throwing a kunai at my face?"

Iruka huffed and looked away.

When he glanced back, it was only to see Kakashi inches away from him.

"Well, you going to steal your kiss little chuunin?"

His eyes looked absolutely predatory. Iruka had a mere second to think before he lunged forward, pecked Kakashi on his cheek, and ran for his life.

He had enough sense to grab a piece of the broken mask. That should serve as proof enough for the others.

* * *

For anyone who still doesn't get the title, it's called such because Iruka used pieces of things to finish his dare. . . and I wanted to save the theme of Broken for something really dramatic that will make all of you cry. I don't know. It might change to be a different theme yet, if I find a better one for Fixed. I just thought it a shame not to add it in. Anyway, if there's a fic you want to read, just challenge me. I'll post a chapter of the themes that I still need to use next. I know, it isn't a real chapter, but then you guys can pic a theme and the character it revolves around. And I'll change it when I update, which I hope to be doing more regularly for a while at least. Until finals.


	12. Broken

Third one!! I'm on a roll. Again, I'll repost the theme chapter, so if you have ideas, post them in reviews. This is the Broken theme I told you about last chapter, the one I was so excited about.

Just a warning, this fic isn't written the same as the other ones. In other words, it's called Broken for a reason. Oh, and certain phrases are used an abundant amount of time. They're used for a reason. Before I forget…

WARNING! SPOILERS OF A CALIBER YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! TURN BACK UNLESS YOU KNOW THE SECRET OF THE UCHIHA AND MADARA! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

* * *

Sasuke slumped against the wall, letting his eyes drift closed. Madara had just left him to… to… to do something. Sasuke couldn't remember and didn't care.

He had killed Itachi.

He had killed Itachi Uchiha.

He was the Avenger of the Uchiha and had killed Itachi.

Itachi had been defending him.

Itachi was dead.

He would have laughed, would have cheered. He had thought he'd run to his parents' graves and tell them all about it.

But that wasn't true.

He frowned, trying to remember who he had been this morning. Or maybe last night. A year ago? Ten years ago?

No, not ten years ago…

It didn't matter. He had expected to die.

Sasuke Uchiha had not expected to live.

Sasuke Uchiha had expected to be killed by Itachi Uchiha.

Itachi Uchiha was dead.

Sasuke Uchiha had killed Itachi Uchiha.

Sasuke had killed Itachi.

It didn't sound right.

Sasuke had killed Itachi.

He had killed Itachi.

He had killed his-

No. It didn't sound right.

His eyes were clenched. Sasuke didn't remember doing that, clenching his eyes. He couldn't remember how to unclench them.

They hurt.

His eyes hurt, deep in their core. Maybe it was the mangekyou. But why would he have his own? He hadn't killed Naruto.

Sasuke didn't want to think about it. It hurt, deeper than his eyes. Deep, deep, the pain settled, someplace in his mind. So he didn't think about it.

He knew that he should believe Madara, not because he was such a trust worthy man. Sasuke would never trust the man, not him. Not Madara.

It made sense. It made since the morbid way death makes since, the cryptic way that eating human flesh to stay alive when there are no other choices made sense.

Sasuke hated his brother. He hated his father. He hated Aunty and the elders.

Sasuke missed his mother. She was soft and comfortable, silky like cold milk when hungry.

He chuckled at that. Comparing his mother to milk. It was ironic, though he didn't understand why.

She would have explained it to him. She would have explained why they had to die. Why they betrayed Konoha like he did. Why he should hate them.

But she hadn't and Itachi had killed her.

He had killed Itachi.

Itachi had killed their father and their mother and their aunt and their elders.

But he had killed Itachi.

He had killed Itachi a thousand times over, in dreams and nightmares, in plots and strategies, in life and death.

But Sasuke wasn't dead. Not now. Maybe he had been for a second, he couldn't remember.

Itachi was.

Itachi was dead and Sasuke had killed him.

Itachi had killed the clan to protect Konoha and had joined Akatsuki to protect Sasuke.

Itachi loved his baby brother.

And Sasuke killed him.

He lifted a hand, though he wasn't sure why. The hand seemed different now. Older. More rigid.

He raised the hand higher and touched his forehead. It had been the one form of affection Itachi let himself show, poking his forehead. A proper ninja didn't have affections. Itachi did. For Sasuke.

His forhead tingled. He silently, secretly, deep in his mind where even he couldn't go, wished it always would.

No one would ever poke his forehead again. He wouldn't let them. He'd rip off their fingers.

He had killed Itachi.

It was a hard thought to swallow.

He had never killed anyone before. It had always been someone else. Orochimaru, Kabuto, Suigetsu.

Naruto.

Naruto had killed someone. Didn't that mean that it wasn't that bad? Naruto couldn't do wrong, he was too much of a dead last.

He had killed Itachi, though. What did that mean? What did it mean?

Fratricide.

Was this okay? Was it okay that he killed Itachi?

Was it okay that he loved him?

He had killed his big brother.

He had gained the mangekyou. That meant he killed his most important person.

He had killed Itachi, who cried after doing what was necessary to protect Sasuke. He had cried as he turned away from Sasuke after torturing him. Torturing him so he would grow strong and be able to resist the powers that wanted him dead.

Grow strong enough to kill Itachi.

And he had.

It hurt to think about, so Sasuke let his mind drift into a troubled sleep.

His dreams were filled with red clouds and weasels.


End file.
